Strange But True
by Alumintia
Summary: Frieza and company decide to make the most out of a boring day in HFIL by sharing a little gossip. The conversaton picks up when gender begins to be questioned. Rated T because little kids shouldn't be questioning this. New editing!


A.N. Now with updated edited goodness! YEE! So my 'drama' –ish thing didn't turn out to hot so I scratched it and added this to take its place. Enjoy! As always, please review.

P.S. I do not own Dragon Ball Z or any of its sometimes questionable characters.

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Jaws were dropped, aghast stares were plastered over the multitude. Was the very fabric of space time ripping apart? Were the unholiest of demons escaping from a tormented abyss? Was Burger King serving fries that tasted better than Mc Donald's fries? No, it was something far more catastrophic…

Ten minutes earlier…

The day or night, however they tell time down there in HFIL, had been uneventful as per usual. A few eighties country songs wafted through the open plains of boulders and the odd spikey crystal structure.

"UHHHHH! Do they have to torture us again? That's the third time in an hour that we've heard that song. I know this is HFIL but still," Jeice groaned and covered his ears.

"I think King Yamma just picked a radio station and forgot to turn the radio off before he went home," Burter mumbled.

"I kind of like it," Frieza hummed. He began to sway with the tune as it dragged on and on. No one in the group made any move to stop him. There were a few dissatisfied clicks, but overall the consensus was that Frieza had finally snapped. Jeice found himself wishing he could go crazy too; it had to be more fun than just sitting.

"We should try to escape," Burter droned. This was met with silence. They had already tried that. In fact, they had tried it four times in the past week. King Yamma had gotten so tired of throwing them in prison that he now only waved them through judgement. Further stamping their paperwork and sending them on their merry way.

Recoome suddenly sat up. "Where did Cell go?"

"He's probably in some corner stewing over his own ego," Jeice huffed as he fluffed his hair.

"You're one to talk. But wait… where in HFIL _is_ everyone else?" Appule looked up from his sprawled position on a round rock. The group became aware that it was only Freiza and his henchmen in the vast gray vicinity.

Recoome began to do a giddy little dance. "OH! Now we can gossip about everyone else!" They all gave half hearted nods. Anything to get rid of the mind numbing boredom was welcome.

"Who wants to go first?" Zarbon called out from behind a pile of rubble.

"I've got something good," Jeice gave a sly smile. "I think Cell is actually a girl."

Everyone snapped to attention. The conversation had suddenly become exceedingly interesting.

"What do you mean?" Dodoria gasped.

"Well, think about it. He is really interested in Goku, and kinda obsessed with Gohan."

"Yeah, but he could just be some gay pedophile," Zarbon said as he held his chin in thought.

Jeice shook his head. "That's not the worst of it. He made his _own_ children. Only females give birth! Plus, he's got nothing down there." Jeice pointed to his crotch.

"Th-th-that actually makes sense," Appule choked.

"So he…I mean she…Oh my King Yamma!" exclaimed Racoome. Everyone began to mutter fervently except for one…

"What is so bad about being a girl?" Frieza snapped. A quizzical look was passed from one alien to the next.

"You aren't in love with Cell or anything, are you?" Jeice asked, afraid of what the answer may actually be.

"No, that freak is uglier than a box of rocks. But, honestly, you have not figured it out?"

There was no shortage of blinks at that moment.

"I am a girl!" Frieza shouted in exasperation.

The reactions went in order as such: Burter fainted. Dodoria gagged. Guldo exploded. Jaws dropped on everyone else as their eyes bulged. Except for Zarbon who gave a whimsical smirk that only a real creeper could.

"But how?" Appule was the first to speak.

"I can not believe that none of you noticed!" Freiza looked hurt. "There was the lipstick, the anatomy or lack there of, the voice, I even cover my mouth to laugh in a girly fashion."

Recoome was in disbelief. "You don't look like a girl!"

"Well, I'm sorry if I don't have a giant rack."

"Your Father calls you his son!" Cui cried.

"He has been in denial for a long time. He really is a sexist pig," Freiza was so matter of fact about it Dodoria ended up gagging again.

There was a huge awkward silence. Jeice chose to look at the bright side of things, "At least we aren't bored anymore."

Just then Cell flew in as fast as he could. "Look! I found a bag of potato chips. I went through three guards and a field of glass jellybeans, but I got it! Has anything interesting happened here, you pathetic chipless worms?"

So the fun continued.

The End!


End file.
